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Math and Computer Science flirtatious remarks (aka pick up lines)

Publish date: Jan 7, 2024
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A small collection of humorous flirtatious remarks. Obviously, these should never be said to someone you are not sure would enjoy hearing them. Also they are very cringe, so read at your own peril.

Originals or adapted

  • You must be gradient descent and I must be a convex problem because with you I’ve found my global optimum.

  • I must have a strictly positive second derivative, because you, my global optimum, are unique.

  • Let \(M_t\) be me at time \(t\). Then I wish for \(M_t \rightarrow \text{You}\), because I want to get arbitrarily close to you for the rest of my life.

  • If you were a computer program then I would be a good program synthesizer, because I found you and you perfectly satisfy my spec.

  • Is P=NP? Because so quickly did you find the private key to my heart.

  • Because my love for you is smooth and monotonically increasing, if you stay with me I will love you without discontinuities and to infinity.

  • If my mind is a pendulum then you are the center bottom position, because no matter where I start I always end up thinking about you.

  • My love for you is Riemann integrable over any finite interval, for it is monotonically increasing.

  • Would you help me prove by induction that happily forever after exists? The first day we kissed can be our base case.

  • To not think about you is to prove the consistency of a formal system capable of expressing Peano arithmetic within the system itself (i.e., impossible; see second Goedel theorem).

  • You’re a constructive proof that \(\exists! \text{person} \in \text{World}\; \text{st.}\; \operatorname{isPerfectFor}(\text{person}, \text{me})\).

  • My happiness has had a non-negative derivative since the day we confessed our crush on each other.

  • You have found a fixed-point of my happiness function, because every day you make me as happy as the first day we kissed.

  • (WORK IN PROGRESS, DOESN’T WORK YET) My love for you must be markovian, because everyday I kiss you I’m as happy as the last.

  • (WORK IN PROGRESS, DOESN’T WORK YET) You must be isomorphic to the set of prime numbers, because for any finite list of things I love about you, I can find yet another thing I love about you (reference to Euclid’s proof).

  • Let us prove constructively that love is real. Proceed by induction; let us use today as the base case.

  • We must be isomorphic, because I want to establish a one-to-one relationship with you.

Straight from the internet

  • Are you an extension that includes the limits to all Cauchy sequences? Cause you complete me.

  • Do you satisfy all the sentences of some formal theory? Because you look like a model.

  • You must absorb multiplication from both sides, because you’re ideal.

  • My love for you is the cardinality of a set with a proper subset isomorphic to itself

  • From now on, my code will say “Hello <person’s name>” because you are my world.

  • Are you the factorial of 0, ’cuz you are the one.

  • On a scale of 1-10 I’d rate you an \(i\) because you’re unreal.

  • You are looking \(\frac{1}{\operatorname{cos}(C)}\) (which equals \(\operatorname{sec}(C)\).

  • If I’m 2 then you must be √ cause around you I feel irrational.

  • Are you an object oriented language? Cause you sure got class.

  • If you were \(sin^2(x)\) I’d be \(cos^2(x)\), because together we are one.

  • Lets find a critical section where we won’t be interrupted.

  • Are you my thesis? ’cause I’d like to do you on my desk with my advisor’s supervision.

Fun

This is an original but i deeply, deeply regret thinking it hahah:

  • Are you an open source webapp? Because I want to push my branch to your backend repo.